Sizzling Super Rugby - Richard Kahui

Many guys aren't fortunate enough to have ladies in their lives who are willing to spend their weekend on the couch watching the rugby. It's not that they don't want to, it's just that they don't have the motivation to, give them that motivation...

I present to you Richard Kahui, the 26 year old outside centre for the Chiefs, a brilliant player with eyes that make me weak at the knees

If she still won't watch, it's time for a trade in

The time has come

Ridiculous bets have been placed in offices all over the country and Friday mornings will go that much quicker while we all check the live commentary and compare fantasy teams, swearing silently when the boss’s captain scores a try. Yellow caps will be boasted about on Monday mornings and all 17 of my Lions shirts will get to see the light of day.

SuperBru – the only time beating the boss is ok

In the weeks leading up to the 2012 Super 15 tournament the Southern Kings and their placement in 2013 season has been the prime talking point. But now, as we lie coiled just one sleep away from the start of the cup I implore that we banish thoughts of the Kings to that little locked room in the back of our brains reserved for the placement of keys, the names of people we need to introduce others to and the actual outstanding amount on our credit cards.

Consider yourself banished

It is time to focus on the game, not to worry about the politics of next year. As is repeated countless times on American football movies, the best defense is a good offense. An amazing season in 2012 is the finest argument against being dropped in 2013.

This is the plan – now follow it

The though of my team being dropped has caused sleepless nights but that is no longer important and if it is their last season I want it to be their best ever. Regardless of what 2013 holds, it’s rugby time and I couldn’t be happier

Lets get it ON!

Southern Kings...set up to fail?

Let me just say right off the bat that I am a Lions supporter and, as such, am horribly bias about this topic, I will, however, attempt to put that aside and rely on logic alone.

Reason - listen to it

Thrusting a team that has not played in the first division provincial tournament into an international club tournament is suicide. If it’s one season only, they won’t have a chance to improve in the Super15.

Let us examine 2 teams who entered the competition at a later stage.

Western Force 

Debuted in Super Rugby in 2006 and finished last on the log. They rebounded in fairytale style the next year, climbing up to 7^th, tinkered around there for the next two years, and then slipped back down closer to the bottom of the table again. This year David Pocock is captain and I’m expecting them to creep up a few places.

Melbourne Rebels

Had their first season of Super Rugby in 2011 and also took the wooden spoon back home. In 2012 new signings Kurtley Beale and James O’Connor should make an impact and improve the team’s standing but we’ll have to wait and see if they can follow in the Force’s footsteps

Welcome to your spanking

The point that I am trying to prove here is that on debut, a new team in Super Rugby is likely to be mopping the floor of the table. If the relegation format is used to decide on the 5^th South African team in the conference then the bottom ranked SA team (it pains to say, but probably the Lions or Cheetahs in 2012) with be dropped and the Southern Kings will enter in 2013, come last, and be dropped again.

Following that, will they get back in? It is one thing to force the entry of a team into a competition at the expense of another, but if they are not performing do you then scrap the relegation structure that you just implemented in order to give them a fair chance? One season does not a team make, and expecting greatness is asking too much.

Going down - not as fun when it's relegation

Grass roots level sport needs to be funded and talent needs to be nurtured from a young age, it’s the only way to create a solid team. Exposure and financial backing are needed to develop a foundation for a franchise and attract better players and sponsors to the union.

I say lay off the Super Rugby pie in the sky ideals for a few more seasons. Admit the Kings into the Currie Cup premier division and let them grow a bit before throwing them in the deep-end with their ankles tied together and attached to a rusty truck. It won’t end well… we know this.

I hope that SARU can come up with an actual workable and sustainable plan in the next 12 months, or I'm afraid the Kings, like Vanillia Ice, will be a one hit wonder.

Word to your mother