Give Heyneke a chance to cock up

There is always mass debate about the team selection and shock horror over who was left out, or rather who was included, before a test series. We were all very pleased when Hymen Heyneke was named Bok coach, but were quick to turn on him when we didn’t all agree with his choices.

What people forget I think is that it is his job to win. That’s what he gets paid for, it’s his reputation on the line and in this country, the vultures are always circling, just waiting for a player/ captain/coach to slip up so that they can dive in devour him while squawking “I was right and you were wrong”.  It is logical to assume then that said player/captain/coach would do all in their power to succeed and to avoid the eagerly awaiting lynch mob.

I think we owe the man at least one game before we all gang up on him. Let him show his thinking on the field, the selection that he has made is genuinely the strongest team he thinks he can field (yes, even Wynand) and we should afford him the opportunity to prove it.  

The man's not a complete novice

You can sharpen your forks and make sure you’re all stocked on paraffin for your torches on Sunday when you are free to lynch away, but until then give the poor man a break…

Form is Foremost

There is so much debate about who will captain the Springboks in the upcoming test against the English that it’s starting to visibly age me. Forgive me for being of the old-school, but I believe that form is the first thing you look at when selecting a team.  We’re trying to win a rugby match, not start a political part.

If you were into politics you would chose a leader first and build the party around that leader. If you’re playing a sport, you pick the strongest team you can and then chose a leader from it. A captain plays a vital role in a rugby team, but having an average player who is a great captain is far more detrimental to success as having a great team with an average captain.

The sports cliché that I hate most in the world is “the captain, leading from the front…” while it is annoying as a phase it is very true. Players are inspired by other players, what you want from a captain is someone who will play their heart out and when you see them playing so hard, you are stirred to do the same. Having an older, more experienced, out of form captain may help with the decision-making part of the role but will it inspire the rest of the team on the field where it counts. Remember, the goal is to win.

A player who is chosen on form and given the job of captaincy will rise to the occasion. You don’t have to look hard to see that in action. Last year Josh Strauss was a no name with a very large beard who was given the role of captain for the Lions and has done a fantastic job. Eyebrows were raised when Keegan Daniel was appointed Sharks captain after Tubby-bum Smit left, but he’s done a great job, again, always in the thick of play and keeps a cool head.  The two most important characteristics of a captain are that they play well and don’t throw punches when provoked. If you pick your team on form, number one is taken care of.

Decision strategy can be taught, people have leadership in them, the parts are not as important as the whole. Pick a team on current form, the strongest team we can muster, and then pick a captain from that group.

The thrill of the chase

I, personally, am a fan of running rugby, ball in hand and moving it up the field. Kicking away possession causes a rather unflattering vein in my forehead to pulsate and expletives to flow from my lips. I do understand the need the need for gaining ground and booting the ball obviously has its place in the game. Last Friday night, however, said vein was doing the locomotion wearing leg warmers and making my ears ring. I was watching the Lions play the Brumbies and it was ugly. It wasn’t the score that had my blood doing the Kylie Minogue tribute cabaret; it was the lack of urgency in the player’s follow-ups.

My vein - less attractive than her's

One of the most beautiful plays in the game of rugby is the up-and-under, but there is an integral part of that move that was not present at Coca-Cola Park that night. It is the root of the dog’s obsession with balls, the hunter’s kill, the excitement of finding a potential mate; it is all about the chase. Kicking up field without a follow up is like eating a whole cake and then going on the spinning teacup ride at a fair, it may seem ok when you do it, but chances are it won’t end well.

A chase puts pressure on the receiving player; it cuts down their time to react and often forces a fumble from an otherwise well composed player. A rushed boot for touch that comes of the side of the foot, a blunder of a catch resulting in a knock on or sometimes an embarrassing panic induced slip, can all be triggered by simply following up. If it works one out of ten times it’s worth it. Just take a look at the Edinburgh Toulouse game, it was exactly the things mentioned above that won the game – fuck ups caused by follow ups – it’s pure rugby porn.

I know the term “possession is 9/10^ths of the law” is usually used in regards to drugs but it rings true in rugby too. You can’t score without the ball, it’s not rocket surgery. My message is this: don’t give away possession without a fight. If you kick, make sure someone from your team is there when it lands. If not for the obvious, then please, for my vascular health.

Lions put me in the friend zone

It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with this, I am now at the point where I can recognise the problem but can’t do anything about it. You see, I fell in love as a young girl with a team one cold night at Ellis Park. Rain was falling, muddying up the white and red jerseys of the Transvaal team, I didn’t know the rules but I wanted to learn them, such passion was on display and I had to know more about it. I asked every question I could think to ask of my long suffering father who was just glad that someone cared about his Lions. I learned about rucks and scrums and players and teams, what the refs hand signals meant and when to shout. My eyes sparkled with delight and I knew it was love.

The honeymoon phase went on for a long time as we made finals and won some trophies in the next few years (it was the early 90’s, we won, I promise). Then there was a slump, I was devastated, had I done something wrong? Was the end of this blissful affair near? I couldn’t give up, not after the great time we’d had. So I clung on. I stuck by them and they leaned on me when they were down because they knew that I would always be there.

Our relationship was platonic without me even realising it and I wanted romance.  I was the trusted and loyal supporter and they kept me on starved of reciprocated feelings. Every week I would get all dressed up, hoping they’d pass a nice comment or come away with a win and almost every week I would have my heart broken. There were fleeting moments when a win would happen and I would have renewed vigour, but those were few and far between.

The blow came last year at the Currie Cup final, we got drunk and fell into bed together and I thought that they loved me too, we would be happy forever. But, I see now that I was in the friend zone all the time. My passion was not shared and that one emotional night that we had together meant nothing to them.

Like a battered wife I go back every time, they seem so sincere in their losses and so elated in their victories, I have to forgive them, they need me.  The bruises fade and I wait, full of hope, for the next weekend to come where they will run away into the sunset with me.

Recently I rebelled, I picked both the Stormers and Crusaders for the wins at Ellis Park and got the points, but the guilt has sat with me all week and I just couldn’t do it again. A psychologist would call it Stockholm Syndrome, a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors. I have passed the point of no return and I’m stuck with the Lions for life. I do really love them, and if they can’t love me back then so be it.

Sizzling Super Rugby - Dan Carter

I have been trying to educate the ladies that there are some very good looking rugby players that you may not have heard of before. But seeing as the Crusaders are at back home in Christchurch this weekend and delicious Dan Carter is going to have a run (from the bench, so you’ll have to watch out in the second half) I decided that we should all drool over him today.

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable Dan, please take them off…

...Thanks, I feel much better now